Things I Thought I Would Never Say

So we're all gathered around the Bloomberg screens to watch the Chimp give the same tired old speech about the markets' continuing melt down today and what his administration is doing about it, and my boss turns to me and says, "We could buy GM now." He means the whole company.

Me: "You don't want to do that ... you don't want to inherit their pensions and other obligations."

So he fires back, "I just want to give you a chance to add a couple digits to your portfolio."

Me: "You know, after the first billion or so, it really all starts to look the same."