Russian #2 has a Plan
Russian #2 has it all figured out. First I marry the Partnerin. Then, after three or four years I become a German citizen. Then I divorce the Partnerin and marry Russian #2 so she can become a German.
This was disclosed to me in somewhat awkward German during last night’s Mittelstufe German class. I think she meant it as a joke, as it was whispered with a smile and a giggle, but one never knows for sure with these pretty Russian girls.
The exercise was for each person to state a problem in their life, followed by the person next to them giving them a solution. I had the misfortune to start the round. My life is pretty good, so it wasn’t a lack of German that made it difficult to cook up a problem. So, staying in the character I had assumed in the previous round (in which I declared that I want to be a Pirate … you had to be there), I said, “I have no right eye.” OK, I realize that doesn’t explain Russian #2’s plan, but it at least gives some context.
Fast forward a few characters later, and our fellow-student from Pakistan declares that he wants to study in Germany, but can’t because he is an Ausländer. So Mr. Nepal says, “Study harder.” Not much of an answer. So I chip in my two cents worth with “Marry a German girl … then you can stay and study.” Laughter from all.
Then Russian #2 leans in and asks, “Is that true?” I say, “I believe so, but I don’t know.”
Then she asks, “How old are you?” I decline to answer, and ask “Why do you ask?”
“Maybe I am interested in you.” This is getting interesting, and mind you it is all in German, which is really our only common language because she speaks no English and most of the russian I speak is military-oriented or of the "I want to buy a Samovar" type.
Then she gives me the plan.
So I counter with, “Why go through all of that bother when we can simply marry now and you can become American?” But she wants to be a German. How cute is that?
This was disclosed to me in somewhat awkward German during last night’s Mittelstufe German class. I think she meant it as a joke, as it was whispered with a smile and a giggle, but one never knows for sure with these pretty Russian girls.
The exercise was for each person to state a problem in their life, followed by the person next to them giving them a solution. I had the misfortune to start the round. My life is pretty good, so it wasn’t a lack of German that made it difficult to cook up a problem. So, staying in the character I had assumed in the previous round (in which I declared that I want to be a Pirate … you had to be there), I said, “I have no right eye.” OK, I realize that doesn’t explain Russian #2’s plan, but it at least gives some context.
Fast forward a few characters later, and our fellow-student from Pakistan declares that he wants to study in Germany, but can’t because he is an Ausländer. So Mr. Nepal says, “Study harder.” Not much of an answer. So I chip in my two cents worth with “Marry a German girl … then you can stay and study.” Laughter from all.
Then Russian #2 leans in and asks, “Is that true?” I say, “I believe so, but I don’t know.”
Then she asks, “How old are you?” I decline to answer, and ask “Why do you ask?”
“Maybe I am interested in you.” This is getting interesting, and mind you it is all in German, which is really our only common language because she speaks no English and most of the russian I speak is military-oriented or of the "I want to buy a Samovar" type.
Then she gives me the plan.
So I counter with, “Why go through all of that bother when we can simply marry now and you can become American?” But she wants to be a German. How cute is that?
posted by Mike B at 3/30/2006 11:35:00 AM
5 Comments:
Very funny!! Oh my. Your German class sounds a lot more fun than mine was. We read Kafka. Kafka is good, but not when you are a 19 year old with a hangover.
Your Russian girls need to know though that marrying in Germany is difficult if you are an Auslander. My German and I had to get married in the States because it was too complicated here.
Hi Claire ... thanks for the warning! The Parnterin and I have discussed the big M., but she wants to be married on this side of the ocean (She's deathly afraid I will drag he to Vegas for a quickie wedding, so she refuses to go anywhere near Vegas). The paperwork is a large part of the reason why she is still only the Partnerin.
BTW, from what I've seen on your comments, your German seems like a really nice guy.
We got married in Canada to avoid the paperwork and it was incredibly easy. It's unfortunate that they make German/Ausländer weddings so difficult.
When I was doing my German courses way back in the early 90's I was always getting propositioned by a young Iranian man in my class who wanted to 'go for coffee' and talk about me sponsoring him to get into Canada. He didn't quite get the fact that I was already married to a German and was taking German courses because I planned to stay in the country.
Hi Christina: The Russian really does want to move to Germany on a permanent basis, so she'll have to find a german man ... but it really speaks volumes about the esteem in which the US is held when they are no longer so eager to go there ;)
I told the Partnerin the story before I posted it on the blog ... her first comment was, "Is she really blonder than me?" which I took to mean "Is she crazy?" so I said, "Actually, she is very blond?"
To my surprise, the Partnerin replied, "Then I will really have to compete to keep you then?" (A: No, not really).
I married my German in Denmark. Easier than marrying in the USA or Germany. Yep. Denmark-the Vegas of Europe. The only hitch is that you have to stay at least 3 days in Denmark to make it happen. You could have any kind of wedding you want in three days...
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