If your life is so good ... Why did you sell it on e-bay?

In case you didn't already see it, a man in Australia sold his life for on e-bay for A$ 7,500.

The ad is cute ... read it here.   Highlights included:

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Will introduce to all my friends & potential lovers (around 8 which I have been flirting with)
- I have around 15 close friends and around 170 other friends
- I have 2 nemeses.
- Lifestyle is very social. It includes a lot of going out.

This auction also includes the following
- A 4 week training course by the former me which includes the following:
- Many anecdotes and stories from a very interesting and intriguing past 24 years of my life
- 6 Jokes
- Training in becoming me (fashion, food, lifestyle, style of seduction, interests)
- Haircut like mine
- Piercings to the value of $180.
- Lessons in my personal history (The good stuff and the bad stuff)
- Skills Lessons (as mentioned above)

NB: After the 4 week training winning bidder will also receive 2 months of on-call support.

Please note the following
- A friend owes me $20. Another friend owes me a six-pack of beer which you can redeem upon winning the bid.
- The winning applicant should probably shout the next $20 worth of weed.
- Will need to become vegetarian. This can however be changed in the future.
- There is some tension with a former ex from a painful breakup which must be inherited.

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Bidding closed last week (23 January), so sorry if you missed it and really wanted to buy a new life down under. Wish I could make this stuff up.

Treat it With Respect ....

Not that I like to see airplanes nosing into the ground, but this spot is cute.

Happiness is a Warm Oven

"I'm warming to the thought of a new oven," said the Partnerin this morning as we were baking rolls. I tried to ignore the obvious pun, which she blithely tossed out there without realizing it, a hazard of living life in a second or third language, but I couldn't let it pass without congratulating her on her brilliance, which drew a puzzled look since the pun was indeed unintended, as perhaps the best of them are.

We spent a few hours at Ikea yesterday looking at big sinks. We have decided to downsize our living requirements and move back into the big city, which does very little for my commute but at least puts me closer to city life, which she knows I crave, and which is why I keep making motions towards a new life in London or New York.

Yes, a new apartment in the city means a new kitchen. This time around I don't want any compromises. First of all, I finally have a big Ami-Fridge, a feat that took three years but was finally accomplished the summer before last. Even the Partnerin has been amazed at how much simpler life has become now that we have a real fridge. There is a huge difference between simply existing and living, and so it is with europeans and refrigerators ... most of them exist with the kinds of dorm-room boxes that Amis grow out of when they leave college.

But the next feat to pull off is a big sink. The Partnerin drives me crazy by stacking everying into the sink and thereby making it very difficult to actually clean and clear the kitchen without a great deal of hassle. I can't "train" her to resist the impulse to move it all from the stove or counter to the sink (she feels like she needs to do something to help the cleanup process), and she refuses to be banned from the kitchen during cleanup ... she has been doing the cooking, so cleanup is on me, just to make it clear that I am not a saint or a martyr ... so the next solution is to have a huge sink ... either one giant basin in which you can stack dishes and still have room to maneuver, or one of those two-basin models. In either case, twice the capacity that most europeans are accustomed to. I have not seen big sinks at the local Baumarkets, but I have seen them at Ikea.

So off to Ikea we go. And we pick up the Ikea kitchen catalog, which they now seem to be giving away at the door. It used to be that if you wanted an Ikea catalog, kitchen or otherwise, you had to ask for one. I think they even had the gall to try to charge you for it if you wanted one at the store. Then a summer or so ago you could borrow a catalog at the door with the proviso that you had to leave it behind when you left. Yesterday you could simply pick one up and take it with you, just like in America. And now, at least in Hessen, Ikea is open to 10 pm, so you can shop in relative calm ... Gee, there is hope for Germany.

And for the first time in a decade we have walked out of an Ikea without having spent a cent, not even on the swedish cookies. But we have walked out with a catalog, which is dangerous because we can now plan how to drop a lot more money into some Swede's pocket. Impulse shopping is good for making them rich a few cents at a time, but planned shopping for big ticket items fits the bill equally well.

Ikea has made planning a kitchen fairly easy, with brochures that include grid layouts and paper cutouts to scale of cabinets and appliances. They even give out little cd's with recipes and what I think is a kitchen planner softward, although I am hesitant to load it for fear that my laptop will become an Ikea zombie.

While designing the new layout I siezed upon the opportunity to correct another issue I have been having, which is the lack of oven space. This one is harder to rectify ... Ikea has one giant oven as part of a professional cookset for a thousand euros or so. The price doesn't scare me, but the lack of a gas hookup does stop me from going in that direction. If I had a gas range and oven, I would probably do more of the dinner cooking, which would mean that cleaning is on the partnerin, thereby saving the need for a big sink ;) No luck there.

Oh, and the Partnerin, now lying beside me and hearing me go on like this says that that is nothing more than a canard, a cheap excuse, and that I have become too lazy to cook, full stop. To my own defense, I still bake bread once or twice a week ... mostly twice or three times, she says. So my efforts do go noticed after all.

So the next solution, if I wish to be able to cook turkey and baked sweet potatoes and stuffing at the same time will probably be to have two ovens. Even for me that seems extreme. But then again, we saw a US-produced home improvement show yesterday where the family had not two, but four ovens. I've been out of the US for some time, but I find it hard to believe that four ovens in the same family kitchen is what people are aspiring to these days. Perhaps I've been existing in Europe too long and need to reconsider going back to the US, where I can "live" ....

"Oh, God, how dramatic," chimes in the Partnerin. This time she has a point.